Pet Joke Library

A man who had recently bought a female parakeet with a salty vocabulary got a call from his minister telling him that he was planning to stop by the following week. Worried about the bird's language, he called a friend who had two well-behaved male birds. One recited the Lord's Prayer, while the other held a rosary in its claws and repeated Hail Marys. "Would it be okay if I brought my bird over for a few days?" he asked. "Maybe it will pick up some good habits from yours." The friend agreed, so the man took his female parakeet over and put her in the cage next to that of the two devout males. Suddenly, the first male parakeet stopped praying and turned to the other. "You can knock it off now," he said. "We got what we were praying for."
-Jim Smithweizer

Pet Store Signs:
For a litter of Dachsund pups - Get a long little doggie
For an Opossum - A peticularly good possumbility
For an Angora Rabbit - A rare bit of company
For Siamese Kittens - Take both; they're attached to each other
-Johny Donut

Top Ten Dog and Cat Movies:
The Love Pug
The Gr-r-eat Gatsby
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kit
Cur-age of Lassie
Heel-o Dolly
Fangenstein Cur-eature from the Black Lagoon
The Pet and the Pendulum
The Invisible Manx
The French Poodle Connection
-Linda Hamsletler

A woman named her cat Love because it was so affectionate. One night, Love failed to come home, so the woman went looking for her. Because she was running around frantically, dressed only in a bathrobe, a police officer pulled up next to her. "What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "I'm out here looking for Love," the woman replied. The officer arrested her on the spot.
-Harvey Pike

Animal lover Anne, who was not married, said to her friend, " My dog snores, the parrot swears, the cat stays out all night with the ladies, and the pet skunk stinks up the house. Why in heaven's name do I need a husband?"
-Jim Noodleson

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